I am going to come clean about something: I like the premade Margarita jugs at Costco. There is one in my fridge right now. You can unsubscribe below.
If you are still with me, I'll explain. I enjoy a bad margarita. I like gross stringy Ninja Turtle style cheese pizza, inferior Mexican food, and all the harmful snacks like Andy Capp's Hot Fries or pork rinds. Bad food tastes good when you are in the mood for it, and on occasion, I am in that mood.
Recently I moved from a small apartment in Chicago to a house in Michigan with a basement, so it was only a matter of time before I waited in line to join the cult of Costco, and I do hate it. I dislike the lighting, the always-changing layout, the free samples, the smelly detergent aisle, all of it. They don't even carry tonic water?!? I do, however, like buying more toilet paper than I can use in an entire year all at once because, for the first time in my life, I have a basement to stash it in. Oh, and the gas, that's a good deal.
Then one day I walked past an end cap full of these premixed margaritas. Like all Kirkland products, their packaging is bland, and maybe that is what did it for me. Most premixed stuff is so flashy. Before I knew it, the jug was in my oversized cart next to a lifetime supply of floss and q-tips.
Due to the summer heat, we have been grilling in the backyard a lot because A) grilled food tastes excellent and B) it keeps the heat outside. Now, I cook with coals and yeah I also picked up that massive 36-pound bag of lump charcoal too. Unlike gas, there is a ritual of sorts to get charcoal up to temperature. After thirty minutes or so the coals are good to go, and I am plenty hot and sweaty from watching the chimney like a responsible Eagle Scout. A Tom Collins or a Gin Rickey usually fits the bill in a situation like this but now and then I don't want to make a drink even a simple highball. Truly an ice-cold lager is what the doctor ordered, but my gastroenterologist says I can't enjoy anything with wheat, rye, or barley (read: no beer, no bread, no fun), so that is where the jug-o-rita comes in.
Salted rim. Crummy ice from the freezer door. Fill with marg. Back to the grill.
What does it taste like? It tastes like a margarita. I have honestly had far worse at fancy cocktail bars and unfancy taco shops. Somehow Costco nailed the balance in that 1.5-liter jug that some bartenders have trouble doing in a small rocks glass. It is a touch on the sweet side, and yes there is a little bit of yellow #5 in there. Also, I have no idea what kind of tequila they use aside from the fact that the word "golden" is on the label. What I do know is that after a few minutes of it swimming with some ice cubes who cares.
So that you know (and to save a little face) I of course still make real margs from scratch, and I have fresh citrus around always. Every grocery list starts with lemons, limes, and oranges at my house but in a pinch and especially when I am firing up the grill I reach for the bottle of margaritas. I don't feel guilty at all, and it is all pleasure.
This certainly isn't a review. There are plenty of other websites that can do those kinds of things far better than I. Costco isn't paying me a dime to talk about their delicious margarita in a bottle. I would have to read the fine print on the back of the membership card, but I am pretty sure I am a part-owner or at least in the line of succession for ownership of the company, so maybe I am a little biased. Above all things, this is a suggestion and a lackadaisical one at that.
Say you are having a big party and need a water cooler full of something tasty, and you don't want to juice limes all afternoon. A few bottles of this would be a good fit. Or perhaps you cant drink beer due to gluten intolerance or Celiac Disease like me, and you want an easy, refreshing drink for grilling. I'd go with this. Or maybe you are just feeling plain lazy because you have been bartending all day and a nip of something sweet, tart, and refreshing would do you well. I say go with the jug.
Oh, and it cost less than ten bones for the whole thing. A fancy marg that won't taste as good at the bar will run you at least $12-$15, and that's with no refills. Have no fear though. If you are ever invited over for dinner, I'll be making Martinis. Just don't be shocked by a bottle of margs in the fridge. I am only human, and I like bad margaritas.
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Bar To Home
A simple translation from bar to home.